An Elaborate Daydream
by Little Crickett
Summary: After nearly two decades of bullying Edd had learned to steer clear of a certain ginger who made him feel ill in the best way. Right after high school however, the problem cured itself and Kevin had seemingly evaporated. Until by sheer coincidence he ends up on Edd's front door with a tiny surprise in tow. The two try their hand at a friendship and maybe, just maybe, something more
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi, there. It's Little Crickett and he is chapter on of Elaborate Daydream. A very blatant Kevedd story. I also write One Day You Won't a Dasey story over at the Life with Derek fandom. I hope you guys enjoy this! **

After high school things in Peach Creek had really settled down. Most of the cul-de-sac had gone their separate ways, which in its own fashion was a bittersweet notion. The Kanker Sisters had suckered three poor saps to wed them right out of high school and then moved away and began popping out their own trailer trash babies. Nazz was going to a local cosmetology school and was already the top of her class. Rolf had gone back to his homeland with all the American knowledge he had acquired. He apparently lived with his Aunt and Uncle, teaching English to elementary students. Johnny was accepted into a university four hundred miles away. Studying what was anyone's guess. Jimmy and Sarah were both freshman, attending the local university, both majoring in Theatre. The art of dramatics. The pair had a combined G.P.A of 9.2 in those studies. Ed had never quite wisened up, though he did have an apparently good work ethic. So he went to work at the jawbreaker factory in his 11th grade year. He never graduated high school but he was quickly climbing ranks to factory management. Eddy, oddly enough, was a sophomore majoring in business at the same university as Sarah and Jimmy. A perfect fit for him. Double-Dee graduated high school a year and a half before his comrades and was well into his third year of studies at the very same campus as his childhood allies, though he didn't live on campus. Edd had carefully selected a nearby apartment where he could focus on his herbology and biology assignments in peace and quiet. A shower he didn't have to wear flip flops in was just an added plus. No one was ever too sure what happened to Kevin...right around his eighteenth birthday he seemingly disappeared…not that anybody was trying very hard to track him down.

Edd, who was currently sitting at his desk, was thinking briefly of his old friends. A framed picture of "The Ed's" around their seventh grade year, was sitting on his desk shelf. He smiled as he looked at the youthful faces. Ed was typing up a quick email to Eddy who lived on campus. They didn't share majors or even graduation years anymore, so though they attended the same school the 21 year old old friends hardly saw each other. Emails and texts were the primary way the duo connected now. And the occasional bar night which Eddy lived for and Edd dreaded.

**Dearest Eddy,**

**Yes, I too heard that Ed is expecting his first child. Sometime in the winter months. We should visit him. I've only met his girlfriend once before though she seems like a kind woman who can easily handle our Ed. Speaking of which, how is your romantic involvement? The same escapades I suspect. Dear friend, you really should dedicate more time in your studies than how to get young women into your bed. I do wish to have you join my company. Perhaps you could come over for a movie and pizza night sometime in the near future. **

**Until then, Warmest Regards, **

**Edd (Double Dee) Sullivan**

After Edd had thoroughly proofread the email three times he sent it and then switched browsers to his online course. This was his near final year of his undergraduate class load and he was taking an unrecommended sixteen credits. Four classes on the campus and two classes online. It would have been an overwhelming load on anyone but a robot programed to learn and study fifteen hours a day. Or Edd. Currently, Edd was deeply involved in the a project involving reading to plants. Shakespeare versus horror novels versus the newspaper versus trashy romance paperbacks. It was a simple enough project as the teacher had only assigned it as extra credit, and much to his dismay the plant being read the smut was growing at a very rapid rate. Edd was compiling that mornings data into an elaborate spreadsheet when a tiny knock came to his door.

"Oh, it's probably the Super coming to see about the dishwasher." Edd mumbled to himself. Since living alone with little human interaction Edd had begun talking to himself more and more. Edd quickly padded to the door and he did not find a two hundred pound man in mustard stained jeans and an overgrown beard. Instead, he found a tiny doll-like girl. Bright orange pigtails, light blue dress, wide brown eyes. No older than four or five.

"Excuse me sir. Would you like to buy a candy bar to help support my school?" Asked the small girl.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I don't eat many sweets. But I would be glad to donate to your school. Education is a most admirable cause. Just one moment." Edd scurried back to his desk and grabbed his wallet. "Here is five dollars. But please, keep the candy bars."

"Julia," A strong man's voice came from the left side of the doorway where he was leaning out of sight. He came into a view and Edd's breath caught like it would if you had seen a long dead ghost. A strong jaw, sharp green eyes, a shock of ginger hair. None other than Kevin Dwyer. "What do you need to say?"

"Thank you, sir!" Julia said excitedly. "Daddy, look!" she held the money up to her..._father. _"He gave me money but doesn't need candy or nothing!"

"So I saw." Kevin put a gentle hand on Julia's shoulder and looked at the male in the doorway. Tall, lanky, early twenties. Even with the age difference, Kevin knew those stellar blue eyes and chapped lips anywhere. "Hey, Double Dee. Long time no see."

"Likewise, Kevin." Edd stuttered hurriedly. Suddenly the little girl beside his childhood bully began squirming and shifting her balance between her tiny feet.

"Daddy, I gotta go." She whined. "Too much milk at lunch."

"Julia, why didn't you go at McDonalds?" Kevin held the tone of a much exasperated father.

"Please, come in. You may use my facilites." Edd moved to the side and with his instruction the tiny girl dashed to his restroom. Kevin stood awkwardly beside the couch.

"Nice place." He said looking around the immaculate yet cozy home.

"Thank you, Kevin." The two shared a very loud awkward silence. "So, how have you been?"

"Busy." Kevin chuckled. "I work at my uncle's auto body shop. I'm raising a kindergartener by myself. So, I guess busy is the right way to put it. What about you?" Julia ran from the bathroom and then was quickly forced to return at the mention of her dirty hands.

"Oh, I'm a double major at the university. Biology and Herbology. I have this apartment. I work at the plant nursery on campus. I too am very busy."

"Wow, Double Dork. Way to live up your twenties. Studying and plants."

"You have a daughter, Kevin. That cannot leave you much social time to freely spend your youth." Edd said pointedly.

"Nah, it's just a different kind of social time." Kevin said. Julia ran out and Kevin scooped her up. Side by side, the resemblance was uncanny, though Julia's chin was noticeably less pronounced. Kevin and Edd just eyed each other for just a minute. Edd was chewing on his bottom lip nervously. Kevin couldn't help but feel his eyes drawn to the cupid's bow.

"So, man. We should totally get lunch sometime. Catch up. I haven't been out recently, other than parent teacher conferences."

"Oh, that sounds delightful." Edd said eagerly. "How about...tomorrow afternoon?"

"Wow. Didn't expect you to pounce on the offer." Kevin laughed and saw Edd visibly recoil from embarrassment. "No, I mean. I'm not great company...so, I guess I can swing by here around one tomorrow? Catch up and shoot the shit about Peach Creek."

"Daddy, shit is a bad word." Julia butt in.

"You're right, Bluebird. Sorry." Kevin laughed. "So, tomorrow at one."

"Indeed, Kevin."

"Sure, dweeb." Kevin said and he and his young charge left Edd's apartment. Once the door was safely locked and Edd felt secure once more...he noticed that his heart beat had noticeably increased and his cheeks were tinged with heat. "Well, I hope I'm not becoming ill."

Across town Kevin sat in Nazz's living room as she practiced styling hair on a styrofoam dummy head. Nazz was really the only one Kevin kept contact with after Julia came about. She was a perfect stand in mother for the half orphaned girl.

"That thing really freaks me out." Kevin complained as Nazz perfected a fishtail braid.

"Shut up you whiner." Nazz laughed. "I drew a face on it."

"That makes it creepier! Just imagine that thing floating down the hall into your room at night. _Style my haaaaaaaair! Do my maaaaaakeuuuupp! _Creepy, man." Kevin grumbled and took another sip of his beer. Julia had fallen asleep in Nazz's comfy chair watching irritating educational princess cartoons.

"You're such a wuss." Nazz playfully shoved Kevin. "So how were candy sales today?"

"Sold five. Ate three." Kevin took another long drink of his beer. "Ran into Edd."

"Which one?"

"The only tolerable one."

"Oh, _that _one." Nazz said knowingly.

"What do you mean _that _one. There is no _that _one." Kevin became suddenly very defensive.

"Double Dweeb. He's a sweetheart and you've had the hots for him since your big coming out."

"There was no big coming out!" Kevin nearly shouted, but keeping it low as not to wake the child.

"I know, big man. That's the joke here. Only like three people know. I'm like, two of them."

"How do you count as two?"

"My good mood and my bad mood." She shrugged. "Either way, what happened with _that _Edd?"

"Stop saying it like that you heinous bitch."

"Stop meaning it like that you stupid hoe." Nazz deadpanned and tied off her fishtail. "What do you think?"

"I've been fishing many a time and none of the fish I have caught have ever looked like that. But Julia went pee in his bathroom. We're going to lunch tomorrow at one. We sold another candy bar. Now we're here."

"You asked him out?" Nazz's interest was suddenly peaked.

Right around high school Kevin noticed that he didn't have much interest in the people of Nazz's gender. Sure, they were cute but nothing to get it up over. His mom assured him he came from a long line of late bloomers and Kevin was just stressed from football and school and basketball. But as high school wore on Kevin still remained single and uninterested in the female persuasion. Nazz noticed too. In a purely best friend experiment the two had sex senior year. Sure, it was okay. But again. Nothing much happened to Kevin. After a seven week meltdown of Kevin thinking his cock was broken, Nazz pretty much told him he was gay. To which Kevin just said "oh."

Peach Creek didn't have a surplus of gay men for 18 year old Kevin to look up to so he just kept it to his damn self and worked it out on his own. Sure enough, it was all adding up. Even why when enjoying porn he lost wood when a very generously chested girl would thrust on screen. Something most online forums said was normal. Normal for queers apparently. Kevin quietly told his mom, who didn't seem too surprised or bothered, just offered him a slice of cake. He off handedly told his dad who turned a furious shade of scarlet and locked himself in the workshed for two weeks, only muttering nonsense like "didn't raise no nancy boy" or "shit, my son's cock sucker". Kevin's dad eventually came around but only to subjects like the weather, sports, or their german shepherd Zeus. Other than his mom, dad, and Nazz, no one knew Kevin's sexual identity. Not that it was any of their damn business.

"I didn't ask him out." Kevin snapped. "We are going to lunch to talk about Peach Creek and shit like that."

"This is a big deal. This is your first date….like ever." Nazz put down the styrofoam head and looked at her best friend. "I'm so proud of you!"

"Oh, shut it woman. Get me another beer." Kevin forced his voice gruff. Nazz giggled and flounced into the kitchen.

"Kevvy's got a date with Double Dweeb!" She sang as she grabbed him another beer from the fridge.

"Shut up!" he hollered at her but he had an idiotic grin plastered on his faced.

The next day at noon Edd was pacing around his living quarters. Though Kevin had asked him to lunch in a purely friendly fashion, probably to clear his conscious of all his misdeeds of their shared youth, Edd found himself quite the nervous wreck. His heartbeat was increased, he felt clammy and sweaty, nearly about to pass out.

"I really need to pick up vitamins from the pharmacy. I do not want to fall ill." Edd muttered to himself as the only reasonable conclusion to his body's actions. He had opted for his black jeans and a casual blue t-shirt, but that felt too underdressed. So he switched it to a white button down but added converse for the perfect mix of casual and presentable. Edd no longer wore his trademark hat, but it was always resting on his bathroom counter for reassurance. Linus from the Peanuts gang had his blankie and as Edd grew up with his hooligans from Peach Creek, he had his stocking cap. It didn't help that his hair grew in patchy and at different lengths and not in certain spots due to a genetic condition. His thick black hair didn't stop looking like a careless butcher took a blade to it daily until a year or two prior to his outing with Kevin. Now he allowed his hair to fall to his shoulders, pleased it looked rather nice for the first time in his life.

Around 12:45 Edd began to panic. Perhaps this was just one last prank the ginger decided to pull on an Ed(d). Kevin had never intended to show up and was sitting at home laughing at how clever it was to ask Edd for his company when he had no means of appearing. At 12:55, just as Edd launched into a full anxiety attack, Kevin knocked on the door. Ripped jeans, a white t-shirt with the sleeves cut off, and a bright red ball cap twisted backwards. He knocked on the door and it flung open.

"Greetings, Kevin." Edd was breathless but relieved his company for the afternoon had showed up. Edd looked at the muscular man across his threshold, no longer the wiry bully from his neighbourhood or the lanky but muscular young man from high school. No, this version of adult Kevin had strong arms and ginger stubble and one, two...no, four visible tattoos. The most noticeable was the word Bluebird in curly blue script with the tiny silhouette of a bird resting in the curve of the "U" on his right bicep. It was beautiful artwork and though Edd had no desire to tattoo his own flesh, he did admire it on others.

"Hey, Double Dee." Kevin said casually as he sized up the man in front of him. Edd wasn't scrawny anymore and it seemed that dirty sock he wore on his head had finally hit the hamper. His hair fell to his shoulders, it looked soft and well cared for. His eyes were so wide and so blue they nearly looked haunted, like something out of a horror movie. Edd had shot up in height when Kevin wasn't around, in fact, the tall lanky man might even be an inch or so taller than Kevin himself.

"So, where shall we go for lunch? I know of a lovely little cafe just down the road from here. Their roast beef sandwiches are exquisite."

"Sure. I didn't really have anything in mind." Kevin moved out of the doorway and Edd locked and relocked his door. The two walked in silence to the cafe. In fact they didn't speak until they had placed their drink orders.

"Julia is a lovely little girl." Edd said finally, figuring his daughter was a safe topic.

"I like to think so." Kevin agreed.

"When did you conceive her? Oh, um! I mean, I didn't even know you were dating anyone and then you seemed to cease existing and you said you were raising her alone, so I was just curious as to…" Edd babbled rapidly. Kevin chuckled and put a hand on Edd's to make him stop talking.

"Dude, chill." Kevin glanced down at his hand covering Edd's and quickly removed it. "Technically speaking, Julia isn't mine."

"Pardon?"

"She's actually my cousin's daughter. My cousin Amanda and I were super close growing up and she got pregnant in my senior year of high school. She was a sophomore in college. Her boyfriend split but she kept Julia and made me godfather. Shortly after Julia's first birthday, Amanda was killed by a drunk driver. She was driving home from work late on St. Patricks Day and some dumbass ran the red light and t-boned my cousin's car. She died on impact

"The driver fled the scene but Police found him a few blocks away at a gas station, drunk as a skunk and whimpering. Well, Julia was technically my godchild and even though everyone tried to get me to give her up, I decided to do what any self respecting man would do and keep her and make her mine." Kevin took a drink of his cola and realized he had freaked Edd out entirely.

"Wow, that is not a great story to tell over a casual lunch. I'm sorry, man. I should have just said _yes, my daughter is lovely,_ and left it at that." Kevin chuckled awkwardly.

"Oh, no Kevin. It is I who is sorry. To lose such an important family member and become a legal guardian at such a young age. It is quite amazing what a large heart you have."

"Yeah, I guess." He shrugged. "I was kind of a punk when we were younger."

"We all were, Kevin." Edd chuckled. "We all were."

After the lengthy dead cousin stories ended the rest of the lunch went swimmingly and the men even agreed to do it again later on. Kevin walked Edd back to his apartment and then realized he had gone well over his lunch break at the auto shop.

When he appeared at the shop's office his uncle Rudy was hunched over payroll paperwork. He spun and looked at Kevin with the same warm brown eyes his daughter and granddaughter had. The Irish roots ran strong on Kevin's dad's side, so of course his Uncle Rudy had the same ginger tresses.

"What's the news, son?" Rudy asked in a thick deep voice. Rudy was ending his fifth decade of life and his joints and heart wasn't what they used to be. He didn't work so much in the shop anymore as much as he did in the office, hunched over invoices and order forms.

"Not much, went out to lunch with someone, which is why I'm late. They have the Cougar up on the rack now and the Prius is humming like a bird." Kevin updated.

"That's good. That's real good. How was lunch?"

"Pretty good. Got you a sandwich." Kevin drpped a white styrofoam box in front of his uncle. "And fries. But no coke. Doc says you need to cut back on sugar."

"Damn the doc. What does he know." Rudy muttered as he bit into the hot ham and cheese. "Thanks for lunch, Kev. Who was the date? Pretty young thing?"

"I guess." Kevin chuckled and sunk into the chair adjacent to his uncle. "Just an old friend, really. No big deal."

"No big deal. You never go out, kid. Other than the park with Julia. Do I get to meet this pretty friend?"

"Nah, man. Shut up and eat your fries. I've gotta go see a man about a motor." He stood back up, set a light kiss on his uncles head, and left the small overheated office. Kevin spend the rest of the day elbow deep in grease and oil but couldn't shake a set of blue eyes out of his head.

**A/N: Alright, there is chapter one! Hope the whole Julia/Kevin backstory didn't seem to rushed or forced, but it needs to be said to set up more stuff later on. Please read and review. Much love, Little Crickett. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay there was a typo in the first chapter which is jacking with the timeline. Julia was born when Kevin was a junior in high school not senior, so he was 17 not 18. He adopted her when he was 19 and Julia was a 1 1/2. Also, I always saw Kevin as kind of the oldest of their grade so he is 22 to Double D's 21. SORRY GUYS! :D Enjoy. **

The next day, when evening was casting long shadows, Edd was in the humid greenhouse on the university campus. He was tending to the tropical plants, the ones he loved the most. Orange, red, purple, and blue flowers drooped from sleepy vines. Firm and spiny cactus like plants rested in scattered pots. Flowering vines twisted their way up trellis', aching for sunlight that seeped in the tinted glass. In the back room of the greenhouse were medium sized trees that sported papayas, guavas, and coffee beans. These were Edd's babies. Each bucket where the tree was rooted had a name tag that read "Hi, My Name Is" . The other greenhouse assistants chuckled at Edd's naming tendencies, but left the name tags be out of respect for their more educated peer.

The house was muggy and the air clung to Edd's shirt and pants. His black hair was tied in a low ponytail at the base of his neck. Edd wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead and scribbled notes about Quinn the Papaya Tree in his notebook.

"What beautiful blossoms, Quinn. Yes, you must be fruiting in the near future." Edd mumbled.

"Who are you talking to?" a female voice asked. Edd spun around and saw a young woman staring at him.

"Oh, Quinn. My papaya tree. May I inquire as to who you are?"

"I'm Maya. I'm new to the university. Just kind of wandered out here." Maya reached out and touched a leaf on an aloe plant named Tyler.

"Ah, pleased to meet your acquaintance Maya. I am Edd Vincent."

"Hi, Edd." Maya held out her hand and Edd shook it. "So, what do you do out here?"

"Take care of the plants. Many of these I've grown since they were little seeds in a baggie." Edd boasted.

"That's very impressive, Mr. Vincent." Maya complimented and looked around the beautiful greenhouse. "Some very gorgeous plants are in here."

"Yes, I concur." Edd turned back around and began scribbling notes in his notebook about Peter the Guava Tree. Maya took the hint and turned around to leave but before she could another man burst into the greenhouse, nearly toppling her over.

"Double Dee! I thought I'd find you out here, you plant geek." the excited man called to his friend. Edd turned around and smiled.

"Eddy, good to see you. What brings you to my corner of the campus? You never wish to see my plants."

"I still don't. But you've got to come out tonight. We've got Ed! His girlfriend went home to visit her mom and he text me and we're going out tonight! Gonna get shitfaced before he becomes a dad." Eddy paused long enough to notice the stunning brunette standing beside a table. "Who's the cutie?"

"My name is Maya and I would like it if you didn't address me by anything but my name."

"Oh, well, hi Maya. I'm Eddy. Edd's more interesting and exciting best friend." Eddy said smoothly.

"You two are friends?" Maya asked skeptically. Edd, the man with glasses resting on his nose, apron tied carefully around his waist, notebook with careful diagrams etched inside could not possibly be close to the boisterous man with three piercings in each ear, jeans that hung too low, and what could only be described as a napoleon complex.

"Oh, most definitely. Since childhood. Eddy and our comrade Ed and myself made up a decent part of our neighborhood." Edd described.

"Ed, Edd, and Eddy." Maya said carefully. "You're parents were not the most creative in that neighborhood I guess."

"Well, actually in our shared year of birth, Edward was one of the most common male names. Our individual sets of parents were merely following naming trends for that time. The three of us becoming such close friends was just a humorous happenstance." Edd explained accurately.

"Yeah, freakin' hilarious. Are you coming or not?" Eddy demanded. "You can come too, Maya."

"I'm gonna pass. It was nice meeting you Edd. And...you too, Eddy." Maya exited leaving the two Edds in the greenhouse together.

"Damn, she's fine." Eddy let out a low whistle. "A bit hot to the touch but bet I can cool her down."

"Hmm, I hadn't noticed immediately. But I supposed Miss Maya is aesthetically pleasing." Edd put his notebook down on a table and hung his apron on a hook.

"Do you even have a dick man? I mean, she's smoking! Ten out of ten would recommend to a friend! In fact...I don't think I've ever seen you check out a girl. That's my goal tonight! Going to get you laid! Let's ride!" Eddy grabbed his friends hand and dragged Edd out of the greenhouse before he could object.

It was ten thirty pm in the Barr household and Kevin had tucked his little carrot top into bed a while before. His mom was in the kitchen clattering around after cleaning up their family dinner. Rudy and his wife Ann had left an hour earlier. Kevin's dad had something suddenly come up and couldn't make it to his son's home for their weekly family dinner. Again. For the seventh week in a row. Kevin sat on the couch with his laptop perched on the arm of the sofa. He was mindlessly scrolling social media and passively telling his mom she didn't have to clean his kitchen.

"Kevin you should go out. It's Friday night. You're a handsome young man. Leave the house!" Rosie Barr shouted into the living room.

"Julia." Kevin muttered and liked a status of a person he hardly knew.

"Oh my! Kevin...I have totally forgotten." She walked into the living room, drying a bowl with a towel. "You need to remind me. Did I run a daycare for fifteen years? Oh lord, did I raise you and your twelve best friends from sixth to twelfth grade? Damn, have I helped you raise that beautiful little girl for the last four years? Or was that someone else? I can keep an ear out for a sleeping child for a few hours."

"Moooom." Kevin whined like a child being scolded.

"Kevin Martin. Get out of this house! I want to watch my shows that I've kept on your TiVo." Kevin's mom yanked her son off the couch and after a little more coaxing Kevin was in his car headed god knew where. The only bar near Peach Creek was a little dive hole just outside town and cleverly titled Peach Pit. It was fifteen minutes to Peach Pit and at nearly ten at night the parking lot was packed with cars and stragglers stumbling around and fondling in the backs of cars. Kevin parked his car far away from the clusterfuck of people who might scratch or throw up on it. Jamming his keys in his pockets he huffed and hoped Nazz would show up soon. He had called her from the car and she seemed rather eager to join him.

As he ambled in he heard the brash and off key wailings of Victory Vikings. The bar was pretty packed with a decent mix of the sober and the shitfaced. Kevin slid into a sticky seat at the bar and ordered a Jack and Coke. A drink Kevin discovered he loved around the same time his father stopped using more than five words to speak with him. Kevin spun around and scanned the room. With Peach Creek not being a very populated place, he recognized several faces. It seemed like the Kanker Trio had gotten babysitters, or eaten the kids, and were slamming darts into a corkboard target. Kevin made a mental note to avoid that quadrant of the bar. Around the pool table were large burly men who seemed to be hustling a game of pool. Kevin took a sip of his drink and cursed the band for being so loud and sucking so hard.

"Shit, I'm 22 and I'm a fucking grandpa." He grumbled to himself. Kevin turned back around to the bar and looked up at the tv, thankful a hockey game was being aired. The subtitles were lagging but he had the main idea of what was going on at that point in the game.

"Hey, cutie." a female voice rang in her ears but he didn't look away from the grainy tv.

"Sorry, miss. Kind of here alone on purpose tonight." Kevin said and took another sip of his drink.

"Jesus, Kevin. Get off your cross. We need the wood." The girl laughed and got into the chair beside Kevin. She ordered a strawberry margarita and mozzarella sticks.

"Hey, Nazz! Glad you could make it to this shit hole."

"Yeah. This place was a lot cooler when we were 18. Remember that summer before Julia. We would come here like every Friday and stumble home around five in the morning, telling your mom you had food poisoning."

"She so didn't believe us. But we were clever as hell."

"Or so we thought." Nazz chuckled.

"Or so we thought." Edd clinked his glass to hers. "Thanks for coming out tonight. Mom evicted me from my home."

"Bitter much? It's not a problem. My boyfriend said it was okay. Oh, wait. I live alone and have two cats."

"That's sad. You're sad."

"It's not like you have a boyfriend either!"

"I don't want one. I have enough going on right now. You on the other hand feel empty unless you have a man in your life."

"That is so not true. Good night, bad night, Kevin. It's too early to drunk fight like the bitches we are." Nazz took a large gulp of her margarita and nibbled her deep fried cheese. "Hey, look who's here."

"The Kanker's? Yeah, I already know."

"No, The Ed's. Haven't seen them in a while. Let's go say hi." Nazz jumped up and dragged Kevin before he could say no. The three friends were in a booth playing a sad little game of Quarters. Ed was nearly drunk and Eddy was pretty far gone. Edd, who was reading a textbook, was apparently the designated driver to his slobbering posse.

"Hey, guys!" Nazz said cheerfully.

"Hey! It's Nazz! Look it's Nazz! From home! Hi, Nazz!" Ed said far too loudly and happily.

"Howdy, Nazz. Fancy meetin' you here." Eddy tipped his invisible cowboy hat.

"Apparently," Double Dee sighed whilst turning a page in Biology for Life. "Eddy turns into a cowboy when intoxicated."

"Apparently." Kevin deadpanned.

"Ya'll can have a seat and play us in a game of quarters." Eddy offered.

"I'm winning! I'm the best at quarters and Eddy is the best at drinking. You should play." Ed said excitedly.

"No, thanks." Kevin muttered, glancing at the phone on his clock. 11:17, could he go home yet without his mom pitching a fit? "Nazz, I'm gonna step out front. Call my mom. Check in."

"Sure, man." Nazz shrugged and slid in the booth beside Eddy. Kevin stepped his way carefully to the exit. The air outside, though still warm and muddy from being early September, was so much cooler than inside. It helped clear Kevin's head. He sat down on the sidewalk and found a lighter on the ground. He flicked it and the tiny flame danced about.

Kevin started smoking when he was fifteen. He got a job as a busboy at a local restaurant to help him pay for baseball and basketball camp. He would work ten hour shifts and the only time he got a break was when the manager opened the backdoor for smokers to get their nicotine fix. He used to just stand out there for a small break but it wasn't long before someone offered Kevin a cigarette and he was an official smoker. He only smoked a pack a week so it didn't interfere with his sports performance too much but it did make him reek. Which Nazz and his Amanda loved to bitch about. His dad wringed his neck when he found out but didn't force him to quit out of hatred for hypocrisy. Kevin's dad started smoking himself when he was twelve.

It was after work one day when he got the call. Kevin was out back smoking with his coworkers when Uncle Rudy's name flashed on the screen.

"Hey, Rudy. What's up?"

"Amanda's in labor! Come on, boy! Get to St. Gabriels and meet your cousin's baby. The baby's coming." His uncle's voice was hurried and excited. The voice of a nervous new grandpa whose only child was in labor.

"I'm on my way! Tell her to hold it in!"

"I don't think it works like that but I'll try. She's having a baby, Kevin!"

"Hell yeah!" Kevin clicked off, put out his cigarette and jumped on his motorcycle. A beautiful 1992 Harley Davidson that was eventually traded in for a sensible 2001 Sedan. He made it to St. Gabriels Birthing Center in record time, the roads were empty at 11:35 at night and he sped on the bike the whole way. He cracked ninety at his top speed. Kevin loved the cool wind on his skin and the way the slight rain stung on his cheeks. His heart was racing and his mind was spinning. Outside the hospital the 17 year old lit up a cigarette and took a few calming puffs. He went upstairs and found his entire family in the lobby. Nazz was blowing up his phone begging for updates. His dad was reading an outdoors magazine, his mom was talking to Rudy and Ann was pacing by the double doors. Kevin went up to his Aunt Ann.

"Oh, sweetie you made it!" Ann said and wrapped her nephew in a hug.

"I rushed as soon as I heard. How is she?"

"She's getting close! The doctor is examining her now."

"Do we know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"Not yet, Mandy is really trying to keep it a surprise. I know you're uncle wants a little boy. She says she'll name him Rudy."

"That's sweet."

"She's ready to push. She says she wants her mom." A doctor had just entered the waiting room to bring Aunt Ann back. "Oh, and a Mr. Kevin...Umm, BoogerHead." the doctor was trying not to laugh as the boy in front of him turned a brilliant shade of pink.

"Ann, you didn't say she wanted me in the room."

"I didn't know, dear. You don't have to if you're not comfortable." His aunt grabbed hand and squeezed. The high school boy shook his head and squeezed his Aunt's hand.

"Let's go birth us a baby." Kevin said with a very small smile.

An hour and so much screaming later, the room was dark and Kevin was holding a tiny squirmy pink bundle in his arms. Julia Winter Barr, first daughter to Amanda Stephanie Barr. Little brown eyed, red haired niece to Kevin Martin Barr.

"You did so good, PoopBrain." Kevin told his cousin, who was lying on her side to watch her cousin hold her newborn daughter. "She's gorgeous."

"You didn't do so bad yourself, BoogerHead. Thanks for coaching me."

"Thanks for calling me a _dick weasel who has never felt true pain. _Means a lot." he looked up and stuck his tongue out at her. "Nazz says congrats. She's going to come by tomorrow and see you."

"Awesome. So, Kev. I wanted to ask you something. You can totally say no. But I wanted to make you godfather. I don't want my parents to be godparents because they're already so old and have raised their kid. They don't need another. And I know you'll love her like I do."

"Of course. But you're not going to die, so knock it off. I'm pretty sure, after what I saw tonight, you are a satanic creature who cannot be killed."

"Agreed. Fire cannot kill a dragon. Give me my baby." Amanda reached for Julia and kissed her cousin on the cheek. Kevin without really noticing it never smoked again.

"Penny for your thoughts, Kevin?" a soft mellow voice cracked Kevin's mental flashback.

"Huh, oh. Hey, Double D. Have a seat." He invited Edd to sit on the curb beside him. "Why did you come out here?"

"You've been outside for a long while. And my comrades are rather intoxicated so I thought I would join you on this cool evening. I didn't think I would see you."

"When? Tonight."

"Yes. You said yourself you don't go out."

"Yeah, I guess not. This isn't really my scene. It doesn't have any bright colors, princesses, or Spiderman."

"Spiderman?"

"Yeah, my kid inexplicably loves Spiderman. I think she's going to need a spiderman costume for halloween."

"That's very cute. The Peach Pit really isn't my scene either. Ed and Eddy pulled me out here to celebrate Ed becoming a father." he paused and looked at Kevin. Kevin turned his head and looked at Edd. Edd's heart hovered into his throat and Kevin's lips quirked upwards, making his green eyes shimmer.

"It's very good to see you again, Kevin." Edd said quietly.

"You wanna get out of here Double Dweeb? I know a place that makes a mean cup of coffee and the best cherry pie this side of midnight."

**A/N: Welp, there's chapter two. I did change the last names to Barr and Vincent. I watched EEnE a lot as a kid so I wiki'd and they didn't have proper last names so I made shit up. Turns out you lot of amazing folks gave them fandom wide names. Hope you enjoyed! Read and Review. Much love, Little Crickett. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Okay, I love your reviews. MissDellusion, thanks for your input and Mantinas uh...thanks for wishing me luck? Anyways, I read a daddy!Kevin fic awhile back and fell in love with it. So, here we go. Enjoy! **

It was two am and Edd was still sitting across from Kevin in a 24 hour diner. Kevin who had an easy smile, kind eyes that widened and glittered when he talked about cars or sports or Julia. Kevin Barr who ran his large hands through his ginger hair, unintentionally flexing his bicep that made Edd's lower stomach clench with unknown anxiety. Kevin who was sipping coffee and taking large bites of the pie he and Edd were splitting. His long legs took up a majority of the space under the booth. Kevin who's lips were being licked raw by his own nervous tongue, every couple of minutes Kevin took his tongue and swiped it across his pink mouth. Edd felt like he was perched on top of a roller coaster and his stomach was fluttering like his cart was about to plummet down into a double loop.

It was two am and Kevin was still getting weirdly lost inside of Edd's endless ocean eyes. Edd whose raven hair fell in waves to his shoulder, hair that Kevin wanted to bury his fingers in. Edd whose voice would get excited as he talked about plants and cells and fertilizer. Edd who would nibble on his lips and his fingernails, out of nervous excitement. Kevin had been with two men, both one night stands from blind dates set up by Nazz. But never in his history with men, or even humans, had he felt this way when he looked at someone. Or had someone look at him. His head was dizzy and his crotch was tightening. Kevin just wanted to reach out and touch Edd just to make sure he was there. Edd without knowing it, wanted to be touched.

"Oh, man. It's so late…." Kevin groaned. "Julia gets up early every day and my mom is at my house. I need to get home."

"Oh, my. I cannot believe I have stayed out this late into the evening...or early into the morning." Edd agreed, he felt slightly guilty about abandoning his rigid sleep schedule.

"Um, why don't we wrap it up here...and I'll walk you home. You don't lived far from here, if I remember right." Kevin suggested.

"Sounds excellent, Kevin." Edd said. Kevin paid the bill, leaving a generous tip that impressed Edd. The two men left the diner and into the streets. The warm air had chilled and Kevin noticed the slim man beside him shivering. Kevin yanked off his Rudy's Auto Shop sweatshirt and offered it to Edd.

"Oh, I couldn't, Kevin. I'm okay, Honestly." Edd tried to decline but the larger man just laughed.

"Dork, you're shivering so hard it's causing earth tremors. Just take it." Kevin argued and jammed the sweatshirt over his friend's head. Edd wriggled his arms inside of the sleeves and the sweatshirt swallowed him. "You look like a little kid, playing dressup. You're so cute." Kevin laughed and Edd's face turned scarlet. _Cute. Had Kevin Barr just called me cute? I didn't know Kevin knew the word cute. Am I...cute? No one has ever said that to me before. _

"Thank you." Edd finally decided on saying, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah," Kevin muttered, feeling suddenly very bashful.

"I've had such an enjoyable evening. I wasn't expecting to have fun. I didn't even think I would see you again."

"Well, we did say we wanted to see each other again."

"I just figured that was a formality as you didn't want to hurt my feelings." Edd said.

"No." Kevin paused and took a very deep breath. "Actually, Edd. I like you."

"Excuse me?" Edd stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. The were actually only a few steps outside of Edd's apartment complex. Kevin stood a healthy distance from Edd, who was now gripping the cuffs of the sweatshirt in his hands, like a small nervous child.

"I like you. I think I might have always have. I dunno, man." Kevin was losing confidence as he progressed. "Maybe not as little kids...but in high school, yeah. You were smart and sweet and cute...and still are."

"Oh," Edd gasped. "Oh, my."

"I'm sorry, Edd. I didn't mean to come on to you. I have a kid...I pretty much kidnapped you from a bar. You have so much going for you and well, I'm me."

"I didn't know, Kevin. I don't have much experience in this department. What happens next?" Edd was looking at the ground but then back up at Kevin. Edd's cheeks were on fire.

"Oh, uh. I don't know. Would you consider...going out with me? Like, on maybe a real date?" Kevin offered. Secretly, he was pleased that he was smarter than Edd, if only at this one thing.

"I would find that enjoyable. I do like...you. Quite a lot, in fact."

"Okay...I'll text you." Kevin grabbed his phone out of his pocket and handed it to Edd who quickly plugged in his number.

"What happens now?" Edd's eyes were wide with anticipation and anxiety.

"May I kiss you goodnight?"

"I don't know. I've never had a kiss before. I don't know how to say goodnight...like that."

"Would you want me to?" Kevin's voice was just about a whisper. He stepped a little closer to the trembling man. Edd nodded slowly. Kevin wrapped his arm around Edd's waist and pulled him in. He took a strand of the soft black hair and tucked it behind his ear. Kevin lightly placed his lips on Edd. Edd froze momentarily but then reciprocated, lips parting slightly. Allowing Kevin to deepen. Kevin kept his tongue in his mouth but lightly nipped at his partners lower lip. This shocked Edd who quickly pulled away.

"That's en-enough for tonight, K-Kevin." The stutter from his youth reappeared. "P-please text m-m-me so we can further our engagement." Edd stepped back from Kevin and went up the stairs to his complex front door. "Was this a d-date?"

"I think so, Dweeb. I'll text you in the morning. Goodnight." Kevin said easily and he turned to walk back to his car at the diner, a few blocks away. As he reached his car his phone began jingling with a call from Nazz.

"Yo, Kevin! Where did you go?" Her voice was loud. She was drunk.

"I took Edd to get something to eat. We talked."

"Awww! That's so fucking cute!"

"Nazz are you okay? You need me to come get you?" Kevin was worried she would try to drive.

"Nope! Went home with Eddy. He called a magic yellow car."

"Taxi?"

"Taxi! We are in his room. Eddy and me are in Eddy's dorm. I just wanted to call and make sure you're alright."

"I'm okay, Nazz. Go to sleep. Don't sleep with Eddy."

"Don't sleep with, Eddy. Got it. Goodnight, Kevvy!" she sang and the line went dead. Kevin got in the car and noticed Dweeb had left his textbook in the car. Who the hell brings homework to a bar? Edd, that's who. Kevin laughed and drove home, finding his mom asleep on his sofa.

"Ma, I'm home." He gently shook his mom and she stirred. Kevin sat down on the opposite end of the couch and began gently kneading his mom's foot.

"Sweetie, hi. What time is it?" She yawned.

"Late. It's almost three. I'm sorry, mom. I didn't mean to stay out so late."

"Well, you sound sober so I'm happy. Who did you meet?"

"Huh?"

"Baby boy, you only stay out this late if you've met someone or gone to a party or sleeping at Nazz's until you can get home safe. So who did you meet?" His mother was very matter of fact. A mother who truly knew her son.

"No one. I've known him for awhile. We just went to eat at a diner. We talked. It was nice." Kevin switched to the other foot and his mom groaned appreciatively.

"Can I meet him?"

"No." Kevin said seriously. "I've gotta get to bed. Stinker will wake me up in about four hours. If I'm lucky. Thank you so much for tonight, mama. You can stay here tonight if you'd like." Kevin got up and kissed his mom goodnight.

"Okay, son. I love you."

In his room Kevin stripped everything off and looked at himself in the mirror. His abdomen muscles weren't as defined as they once were but they were still noticeable. His legs were long and lean. He turned to the side and saw Amanda's name written in beautiful purple script down his calf with the shadow of an elephant holding its trunk to the sky, her favorite animal. Bluebird on his bicep, Amanda on his calf. A celtic cross on his right shoulder. A green three leafed clover on his ribs, right below his left nipple. His fifth and final tattoo was something his mom told him the day he came out. Carefully inked on his right hip bone where it melted into pelvis. Somewhere very private where only he usually saw. _To thine own self be true. _It was very small, black, and an orderly typewriter font. Sometimes he ran his hand over the ink and it made him feel a little better.

His mom really didn't like all the tattoos he had but each one made him feel closer to who he was supposed to be. Each one was important to him. His daughter's beautiful nickname, a tribute to his cousin and best friend, the cross was his heritage, the clover was his new beginning that St. Patrick's night, and his life motto where no one could see.

Kevin slipped into a pair of clean boxers and crawled into bed. Julia had left one of her Teddy Bears in his bed and he wrapped his arms around it. The room beside him his daughter was sleeping quietly. The living room his mother had fallen back asleep. Kevin was on his way to dreamland as well.

Across Peach Creek, Edd had just stepped out of the shower. The dirty bar. The dirty diner. He felt filthy. He dressed his slender body in a blue pajama set and ran a brush through his thick wet hair. He crawled into bed and pulled the comforter up to his chest. He plugged in his phone and was ready to sleep, until he remembered something. Edd left the bed and padded over to his hamper. Underneath his pants, socks, and shirt was Kevin's sweatshirt. Edd held it to his nose. His first kiss was with his childhood bully. And it was amazing. The sweatshirt smelled like Kevin Barr. A light cologne. Laundry detergent. And a little bit of just….Kevin. Edd took the hoodie and crawled back into bed. He wrapped his slender body around the hoodie and remained curled with it until his alarm went off in the morning.

"Daddy!" a little girl's voice shrieked as she ran into her father's room. Kevin was sprawled out on top of the covers, drool on the pillow, and a soft black bear still in his fist. Julia jumped on top of her father who "oofed" under her.

"Good morning, Bluebird." he yawned and rolled over. Glancing at the cable box clock it read 8:15 in the morning. "You let me sleep in."

"Yupp. You look really tired, Daddy." The newly turned five year old reached out and touched a dark circle under her dad's eye.

"I was out late after you went to sleep. Is Ma-Ma out there?" Kevin reached for the remote that was somewhere on his night table. He flicked on the TV and it was already on the kids channel that Julia loved and Kevin tolerated.

"Mmm, nope! Just me. Yay, Mickey Mouse!" Julia chanted and curled up next to her father, whose eyes were already drooping shut. His mom must have gone home earlier. Kevin grabbed his phone from under his pillow. He had a new snapchat from Nazz. It was a picture of her wearing a man's shirt with her short blonde hair sticking up at all angles. The caption in the gray bar was "Oops…"

"Fucking, Nazz." Kevin sighed.

"Fuck is a bad word." Julia reminded.

"Sorry, baby." He kissed her red bed head and she snuggled closer into his bare chest. Kevin text his best friend with shame.

**K: So you slept with Eddy**

**N: Mmm...maybe**

**K: Was it at least good?**

**N: I dont remember. I remember...drinking and pizza and kissing…**

**K: Gross. **

**N: I'm an adult who makes adult choices sometimes. Anyways didnt you sleep with Edd?**

**K: No. Why are you awake?**

**N: Walk of shame starts early on Saturday morning. Taxi back to my car at the bar. Now home. Shower….I feel gross. **

**K: You are gross.**

**N: ;) kiss J for me. **

Kevin slobbered a wet kiss on his daughter's cheek.

"Daddy! Gross! What was that for! Yuck!" she wiped the spit from her face and smiled up at her dad.

"Aunt Nazz wanted me to give you a good morning kiss."

"Where is Auntie Nazz? I miss her!"

"She's going for an early morning walk. You saw her two days ago."

"I still miss her." Julia shrugged. Kevin looked at the clock, it was hardly 8:40 and he wondered if Edd was awake yet, or if it was still too early. Most normal humans weren't awake at this hour on a saturday. Most humans who weren't Edd.

Despite his fatigue, Edd got up when his alarm sounded at seven sharp. He contemplated sleeping in, just this once, but then decided that he had thrown off his schedule enough last night. Edd made himself toast and sliced fruit and milk for breakfast, a very balanced and healthy meal. He watched the morning news and then logged into his online classes. Edd pretended he wasn't eagerly awaiting a text from a certain Mr. Barr, but he wasn't convincing even himself. Every five minutes he checked his phone, lying and saying he was checking the time. Truth be told, he couldn't get the kiss out of his head. Edd had never allowed himself to be close to another human, his parents had taught him that physical affection was vastly unnecessary to maintain relationships. Kevin, in a simple five second kiss, had shattered that original notion. In a matter of twelve hours, Edd had change a major part of his philosophy. He wanted to kiss Kevin in all of the way possible, take notes on how they felt and what they did to him. He wanted to let someone embrace him and kiss and perhaps even further than that. These very loud thoughts caused Edd to blush and instinctively he reached up to tug his hat down over his eyes. Unfortunately, his hat was not on his head. It was on his counter. Edd scooted to the bathroom to retrieve his hat and brush his teeth after breakfast. When he returned to his desk, his phone was glowing with a text message notification.

**(779) 555-6663: Hey, Dweeb. Good morning. **

"Eep." An involuntary sound escaped Edd's throat. Quickly, he added Kevin's number to his short list of contacts and responded. Not even humoring the notion of waiting before responding, as to not seem overly eager.

**Edd: Salutations, Kevin. How did you sleep?**

_**Kevin: Eh, alright. Julia woke me up bright and early. You?**_

**Edd: After a shower I slept quite well. I am still in possession of your sweatshirt, Kevin.**

_**Kevin: Keep it. :) I don't need it. So guess what happened last night. **_

**Edd: I have no idea. You did not give me any hints. **

_**Kevin: Nazz and Eddy slept together. **_

**Edd: Good lord! Oh, my. **

_**Kevin: zbhtrzajga}bedni GAEHO23**_

_**Kevin: 2111169ghbes JULIA WINTER BARR vambds**_

_**Kevin: kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk000000000000000**_

**Edd: I'm sorry, Kevin. I do not understand your coding system. **

_**Kevin: LMFAO Double Dweeb. It wasnt a code. My kid decided she wanted to show me she can type her name. I was phone jacked. **_

**Edd: Oh, that makes much more sense. **

_**Kevin: Hey I gotta go make breakfast for Bluebird. Time to get up. Ill call you later. ttys :)**_

**Edd: Alright. Until later, then. **

Kevin put his phone back on the night table and pushed Julia out of bed. He had the grin of chimp on his face. Edd was even Edd when he texted. Very formal, all the punctuation, so adorable. Kevin got out of bed and threw a t-shirt on.

"Daddy, why are you so happy?"

"Because you're finally out of my bed. For someone so little you take up a bunch of space." Kevin teased.

"I do not! You're so giant you take all the bed!" she giggled and ran from the room.

"It's my bed! I can take up all the room I want!" Kevin went after his nightgown clad princess. After deciding on Fruit Loops and chocolate milk, the pair sat in front of the TV and watched more cartoons.

The day dragged along and the exhausted Kevin did everything he could to keep up with Julia. She was bounding around the house and the backyard and her room. Saturday to kids was friday to adults. Minus the hangover and bad decisions.

"Julia, go clean your room." Kevin shouted around three in the afternoon. He was lying on the couch watching an episode of Sofia the First for the third time.

"Why?" she whined from where she was building a rather impressive block tower.

"Because I told you so. Now, go. Or I'll donate all your dolls to little girls who actually do what their father's say."

"Okay! I'm going! Don't touch my dolls!" she leaped up and went to her room. Kevin groaned and stretched out on the couch, turning off the tv. He knew she wasn't cleaning her room, but at least she was quiet. Kevin pulled his phone from his pocket and quickly texted his mom another thank you. He checked social media and sports teams updates. Nazz was presumably asleep, like any normal 21 year old would be. He sighed and looked at his living room. Blocks, dress up clothes, stuffies, DVDs of the cartoon persuasion and not the pornography genre. He was a dad. He's been a dad for three and a half years. Some days were easier than others. Santa and easter bunny and playgrounds were infinitely easier than teething and doctors offices and night terrors. Days like today made him briefly wish he could have just gotten shitfaced last night and slept until one in the afternoon and consumed an unhealthy amount of Taco Bell. But when she looked at him with those big brown eyes and uneven smile, he knew was was doing the best thing in the world.

It was three thirty in the afternoon and Edd was washing his laundry in facilities the apartment provided. It had been a slow day and he had just loaded his whites into the washing machine when his phone began to chime from his pocket.

"Hello, this is Eddward." Edd answered.

"Hi, Eddward. It's Kevin." Kevin laughed at the very formal greeting.

"Oh! How do you do?"

"I'm okay. Tired as hell. What about you?"

"Rather fatigued as well. I might indulge in an afternoon nap." Edd without noticing it was smiling very broadly at the husky sound of Kevin's voice.

"Not a bad idea." Kevin yawned to make his point. "Well, about that date."

"I'm sorry?"

"A date. I said I wanted to take you out. For real. Not to a dirty bar and then a follow up at a tiny cafe."

"I understand the concept, Kevin. What about the date itself?"

"How about Tuesday night? Aunt Ann and Uncle Rudy usually take Julia on Tuesdays. I could pick you up. Go out to dinner. Movie. I don't know. What about it?"

"Sounds...delightful." Edd breathed lightly.

"Okay, so, six sound alright?"

"Daaaaaaadddyyyy!" Julia's voice wailed. "Where is my ballerina tutu?"

"Didn't you leave it at Nazz's?" Kevin called back.

"Nu-uh!"

"Then I dunno, squirt. Hey, Double Dee. I've gotta go. My break is over. I'll see you Tuesday at six. Bye."

"Goodbye, Kevin."

Edd put the phone back in his pocket and was feeling his face become quite feverish. He was eagerly anticipating their date. Edd's very first date. What does one wear on a first date?

**A/N: Well? I hope this is okay, really I do. Please leave reviews! Much Love, Little Crickett**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Yes, I'm horrible and unapologetic. But I still love you. Please enjoy. Hey, trigger warning also. The mean F word to describe gay men is used. Also, smut. Consent is sexy.**

Tuesday afternoon rolled around in the Barr household. Julia was at school and it was Kevin's day off. After school Julia was being picked up by Rudy and Ann and not delivered until later in the evening. They did dinner and bath and got her home around nine so she could just jump right into bed. That afternoon Kevin was sprawled out on the couch, dozing in and out, with his hand in a bag of doritos. Tuesday was one of the days he had totally to himself, and he used it wisely. No pants. College sports channel. Naps. And if the day permitted laundry and dishes.

As he fell asleep, in his dream was met with raven hair and piercing ice eyes. Lanky limbs wrapped around him with pale lips and teeth nipping at collar bones…

"Kevin let me in!" he woke up to pounding on the front door. "It's your bestie, Nazz."

"It's open, Nazz." Kevin grunted and pushed himself into sitting position. She burst into the living room and plopped down on the couch across from him, dropping her hefty backpack on the coffee table.

"Yikes, Kev. Nice tent." she said, dubiously eyeing the peeking in his boxers. Kevin hastily grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and threw it over his lap.

"Thanks, Nazz." he grumbled.

"Hey, hey, hey. No need to be embarrassed I've seen you naked."

"An experience I'm still trying to bleach from my mind. What do you need?"

"I'm kind of bored. And I need to study. And I missed you." Nazz reached for the remote and flipped channels.

"Yo, this is my one day off! I don't want to waste it Keeping Up with Anyone!" he yanked the remote away from her. Nazz huffed and crossed her arms.

"Isn't tonight your big date?" She asked.

"Yeah, but not until later." Kevin responded as he tried to flip it back to his original channel.

"Are you nervous?"

"Why should I be?"

"Not only is this your first date with Edd. This is your first time dating a man whom I did not set you up with off of Craigslist." Nazz said calmly and folded her legs under her.

"What? Donny and Roger came off Craigslist? They could have killed me, Nazz!" Kevin shouted and threw a couch pillow at Nazz's head.

"But did they?" She said pointedly. "I have a date too..."

"Oh? With who?" Kevin left the couch and went to a basket of laundry next to the hallway. He grabbed a t-shirt and wriggled into a pair of jeans.

"Um, Eddy." Nazz found a fraying string on the couch and picked at it like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"So, you guys had a drunken screw...and now you're dating?" Kevin carried the basket of laundry to the coffee table. He began sorting through tiny skirts and leggings and mismatched socks while waiting for Nazz to pipe up about her newest affair.

"Not in so many words. After I left his dorm we started texting. And talking on the phone. And other stuff. And he just asked me out..."

"On a Tuesday night?" Kevin muttered and matched a kitty sweater to a pair of purple tights.

"He has midterms to study for. This is the only night he is totally free. He has study group on Wednesday and Friday. Thursday he has something else...and he is staying with his parents for the weekend. So Tuesday."

"Eddy has a study group? Eddy is studying for midterms? You hate Eddy!"

"No, Kevin. You hate Eddy. And to be fair you hate twelve year old Eddy. Not twenty one year old business major Eddy who has a 3.0 GPA." Nazz defended.

"I hate Eddy." Kevin grumbled.

"You used to hate Edd too. We've grown up Kev, let the hatred go." Nazz said with a small smile.

"He better not try anything."

"He's already touched my fun bits. Not much else he could try."

"What the hell, Nazz. Didn't need the visual. Anyways, I mean he better not make you cry."

"Or what? You'll give him a knuckle sandwich and ride off on your bike with his jawbreaker money?" Nazz teased.

"Shut up." Kevin laughed. He shook his head and thought back on all the years they had spent together. Not just Nazz and him but the Eds and all of the cul-de-sac. They really were a tiny clan growing up, now it seemed like everyone had changed but he supposed that was really just a nasty side effect of becoming an adult.

At seven o' clock sharp Kevin knocked on Edd's door. He was wearing his nicest jeans and a white button down shirt. He had shaved and even taken off his baseball cap. He was quite handsome, if he did say so himself. The door swung open and there was Edd. Stunning as ever. Black slacks, a purple and green sweater, thin wire glasses framing his eyes off ice. His hair was tied back loosely. Kevin's heart skipped a beat and his brain went foggy.

"Greetings, Kevin." Edd said quietly. "Is that for me?"

"Uh, yeah." Kevin gave the single sunflower to Edd who ushered Kevin into his home. "I remember you said you like sunflowers."

"It is most beautiful. Thank you greatly." Edd was placing the flower in water in a simple glass. "Are you ready?"

"Definitely." Kevin grinned and held out his hand for Edd to grasp. Hesitantly, he did and the two walked hand in hand to Kevin's car parked below. The pair didn't speak much on the way to the restaurant, both their hearts were racing too fast to allow for words.

"Do you like Mexican food?" Kevin asked after about five minutes of silence.

"Very much so. I do enjoy enchiladas very much." Edd said enthusiastically.

"Well, that's good. I know a great place. Tortilla Flats. It's a small place but it's food is to die for. Chips and salsa is a staple."

"I'm looking forward to it." Edd looked over at Kevin and smiled broadly. Kevin's stomach fluttered and he reached over and grasped Edd's hand. Kevin pulled in front of a small Mexican restaurant with colorful lights strung up near the windows and doors. Bubbly music drifted out to the parking lot. They walked in and were seated immediately. The hostess dropped off salsa and chips, explaining that their server would be right with them.

"You look great." Kevin said as he dipped a chip into the salsa.

"Really? I was rather unsure." Edd tugged at the neck of his sweater. "I'm glad you like it. You look quite dashing as well."

Kevin was running small circles on Edd's hand with his thumb. It was a small gesture that sent Edd's head into a foggy spiral.

"Hi, I'm Jayme. I'll be your server." The young woman's bright smile faltered when she saw the men holding hands. "What do you want?" Her chipper tone transferred to a dark grumble.

"Um, I'd like a Corona." Kevin hesitated, trying to gauge if he had done something to wrong Miss Jayme. "Edd, you would probably like a strawberry Margarita."

"Yes, I suppose that sounds fine. I would like ice water also, please." Edd's voice was stronger than Kevin's.

"Fine. You need anything to eat tonight?" She snapped.

"We're still looking, thanks." Kevin turned cold.

"Okay." Jayme stomped off but before she was completely gone they overheard her snap at the hostess. "Dammit, Lillian. You sat me a fag couple."

"At least they're cute." Lillian said back.

"Whatever. They're fags." Jayme huffed and stormed back to the kitchen.

"Oh, dear." Edd mumbled. "Maybe we should go somewhere else."

"No, I'm not going to be chased off. I want to have a damn dinner without being fucking bullied by a five foot blonde girl." Kevin practically growled. Jayme came by and dropped their drinks harshly on the table without a word.

A half hour later Kevin and Edd were in the parking lot leaning against the car. Kevin was still fuming, red in the face and smoke out the ears. Jayme was curt and rude whenever she approached the table. Even going as far to spill Edd's ice water all over the table and himself. Though she swore it was an accident, neither man believed it. Edd had quieted down after Jayme took their orders and chastised Edd for requesting no onions due to his allergies.

"The food was good." Edd said very quietly.

"Sure," Kevin sighed. He put an arm around Edd's waist and tugged him closer. Edd stiffened but allowed Kevin to run his fingers through his dark hair as he rested his head on Kevin's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I dunno. Being a dick all dinner. Not exactly how I wanted our first date to go. But that Jayme. She was just such...a twat."

"All is forgiven, Kevin. Worry not."

"So, do you want to go catch our movie?"

"No." Edd said. He pulled away from Kevin and looked into those green eyes.

"...no?" Kevin's heart dropped. Was the date that bad? Was this over before it began?

"Why don't we...go back to your house?" Edd whispered. Call it drunken courage. One Strawberry Margarita had definitely gone to his head.

"Oh. Okay, then." Kevin laughed and opened the car door for Edd. Kevin slid in and started the car. "This is pretty sudden."

"Yss, I suppose it is." Edd's face was turning an unusual shade of pink.

"So, what do you want to do at my house?"

"I don't know. Netflix has a fascinating documentary on black whales..."

"Or?" Kevin said slowly. He cautiously placed a hand on Edd's knee.

"Or...I don't know..." Edd's voice was shaking and quiet. He had never been so bold before. Not once had he ever done something without measuring all the pros and cons and calculating each step. He didn't know what was going to happen...and he found that exhilarating. The spot on his knee where Kevin's hand was was on fire, his skin tingling. Edd couldn't take his eyes off that giant hand that encompassed his entire slender kneecap.

"That documentary sounds interesting." Kevin recovered, seeing how timid Edd had become.

"Oh, it is indeed."

"And we can watch the whole thing uninterrupted. Julia is with her grandparents until later."

"That sounds delightful." Edd whispered. His heart was pounding in his ears. Kevin removed his hand from Edd's knee and white knuckled the steering wheel, trying not to speed back to his home.

Ten tense minutes later Kevin parked in his driveway and the two went into the humble house.

"This is a lovely home you have."

"Thanks. It was Amanda's originally. I couldn't find it in me to part with it. Afterall, Julia already called this her home. So, I just moved in." Kevin went into the kitchen, leaving Edd to inspect family pictures hung carefully on the walls. "You want a drink? We have purple Kool-Aid, iced tea, milk."

"Water is fine for me, thank you." Edd said. He joined Kevin in the kitchen. Kevin handed him a glass or water. "Julia is a remarkably beautiful young girl."

"Yeah, I like to think so. She knows it too. I'm worried about high school." Kevin laughed and poured himself a glass or purple kool-aid.

"I understand." Edd chuckled. The two were quiet for some time before Edd finally spoke up. "So, that documentary."

"Uh, yeah. We can watch it out here. Let me boot up the XBOX." Kevin put his and Edd's glasses in the sink and led Edd to the couch. Edd sat on one side and watched as Kevin got the system ready and loaded up Netflix. Kevin selected the documentary that was recommended by Edd and then sat back on the couch.

Sparks nearly lit the couch on fire. The two men were staring straight ahead at the television but weren't taking in any of the words or pictures. Both were rigid and uncomfortable, wanting to do something but unsure of what. Edd tried to casually place his hand in between in the two of them and without hesitating Kevin grasped it. Edd's heart had all but stopped beating when Kevin scooted closer and "casually" put his other arm around the back of the couch. After three or so minutes Kevin dropped the arm down to Edd's small shoulders. Kevin couldn't help but notice how...dainty, Edd was. Small, petite, itsy if you will. Slender shoulders that ought to have been bony and sharp, actually fit perfectly into Kevin's side. Kevin was rubbing small circles on Edd's shoulder and playing with his fingers. Piano player's fingers, long and slender. How would those slender fingers looked around his thick...

"Kevin?" Edd's voice cracked Kevin's dirty daydream. Could he read minds?

"Uh, yeah? You want me to back off?" Kevin said quickly.

"No no no! Actually...I was wondering if..." He trailed off, not looked Kevin in the eyes.

"Come on, dweeb. Spit it out." Kevin teased.

"Would you kiss me, please? If it's not look too much to ask."

"Jesus, double dork." Kevin lost it and doubled over laughing. "You're so cute. You don't have to ask! You could have just done it."

"I didn't want to impose."

"Impose? Geez. Just...shut up." Kevin's heart had calmed down and he was leaning closer to Edd who was using all of his humanly control not to run away. "Just follow what I do. And if you want to stop just tell me." Kevin's voice was husky and he was so close Edd could smell that light cologne that made him lose common sense.

Kevin gently placed his lips on Edd's but this time Edd didn't freeze. His kissed back. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but after that first date Edd went online to study some kissing techniques from reliable sources such as Seventeen and Teen People. Kevin pressed a little harder and placed his hand on the back of Edd's head, his fingers getting lost in midnight waves.

Edd allowed the harder kiss and ever so slightly parted parted his lips, allowing Kevin deeper access. Kevin took the hint and slowly slipped his tongue into his partners mouth. Gently the two tongues tangled and mouths moved in sync. Kevin nipped at Edd's lower lip, this time Edd moaned appreciatively instead of running away. Kevin pushed Edd back on the couch and slowly crept on top of him.

"Okay?" He asked.

"Okay." The smaller man confirmed. Kevin settled his left knee in between Edd's thighs and the right knee was on the outside. He buried his hands in Edd's hair and suckled his neck. Edd grabbed the back of Kevin's t-shirt and groaned. He had never felt anything like this before. It felt so good it nearly hurt. He had erections before but never one that pressed against his pants in an agonizing manner like this. Kevin lightly nipped at the pale skin and ground his denim clad erection against Edd's thigh, desperate for some friction. Kevin groaned and Edd's hands wandered down Kevin's strong back and under his shirt. Kevin removed his hands from Edd's hair and sat up. He pulled his shirt up over his head and tossed it on the floor. Kevin's hands went down to Edd's belt.

"Okay?" He asked before proceeding.

"Okay." Edd whispered.

"Actually, let's go to the bedroom. Come on, babe." Kevin clambered off Edd and couch and held his hand out for Edd to take. Edd took the hand and was guided back to the bedroom. Once there Kevin shut the door and grabbed Edd's face roughly before kissing him deeply. The kiss continued as Kevin fumbled blindly with Edd's pants. Finally the pants dropped to the floor and Edd was left standing in just his black boxer briefs.

"Still okay?" Kevin asked.

"Y-yes." Edd moaned as Kevin's lips trailed from mouth to jaw to neck to collar bones. Kevin dropped to his knees and slowly tugged the underwear down. Edd's cock sprang free, thankful to be out of its cage. It was surprisingly thick and long, pale pink. Uncircumcised, which surprised Kevin. He inhaled deeply and his own dick was begging for attention. Edd looked down at the handsome redhead whose mouth was closing in on his most private of anatomy.

"O-Oh my.." Edd groaned as Kevin's lips closed around the head of his cock. One hand was on his balls and the other was wrapped around the head of his cock, tounge teasing his foreskin in ways unimaginable. Kevin was amazed at how great it felt to have Edd's thick dick in his mouth. Edd's precum was like nectar on his tastebuds. He had achieved perfect rhythm, feeling Edd's ballsack tighten and hearing Edd moan loudly.

"Good god, Kevin." Edd groaned and dug his hands into Kevin's hair. Kevin reached down and unbuttoned his own pants, trying to ease the growing strain. The warm lips around Edd's manhood were seconds from finishing him off when both men heard something that halted all action.

"Daddy! Where are you daddy?" Julia's tiny voice signaled her early arrival.

"Shit fuck damn." Kevin muttered and ran his hands though his hair. He got to his feet and kissed Edd hastily on the lips. "I'm sorry, babe. This is is my life. Hold on, princess! I'm coming." Kevin left the room and Edd slowly pulled up his underwear.

"So was I." Edd muttered but not out of bitterness. More out of shock.

Kevin walked out into the living room, shirtless with skewed hair and pants unbuttoned. Ann was standing by the couch with Julia's backpack in hand and sly smirk on her face.

"Daddy!" Julia squealed and Kevin picked his daughter up.

"Hi, princess. Why are you home so early? It's only eight thirty. Wasn't expecting you for another half hour."

"Gramps is sick." She explained.

"I didn't want her catching whatever Rudy has so I went ahead and brought her over here. I hope we weren't interrupting anything." Ann said. She still had that sly smile on her face, like the cat who ate the canary.

"Hey, kiddo. Why don't you go to the bathroom. Get ready for a bath."

"Alright!" Julia climbed down her father and dashed to the bathroom.

"So?" Ann was practically bursting with laughter.

"So...I had a date...well, have a date. He's still back there." Kevin muttered and looked at his bare feet like a scolded school child.

"Oh my god, Kevin. You can't just keep that man trapped in your room. He's not a pet! Go fetch him." Ann demanded.

"Yes, Aunt Ann." Kevin sighed and went to fetch Edd. Edd was already perfectly composed and looked like none of the last half hour had happened. Kevin dragged Edd to the living room.

"Hello." Edd blushed, praying Kevin didn't tell this woman the activities they were participating in.

"Aunt Ann. This is Edd. My...date." Kevin introduced. Edd and Ann shook hands.

"It's great to meet you. Now I fear, must be going. Your Uncle Rudy is such a baby when he is sick." She kissed Kevin, yelled goodbye to Julia, and left. Kevin slumped on the couch and Edd sat down as well.

"I understand if you don't want a second date." Kevin sighed. "My life is a little too crazy for romance and intimacy and extended periods of alone time."

"I actually could get used to the craziness." Edd smiled and kissed Kevin's temple. "I enjoyed myself quite a lot."

"I can't take you home now..." Kevin reminded.

"No worries. I can use your laptop computer in the bedroom while you prepare Julia for bed. After you take her to school in the morning you can drop me off at my apartment. That is if you would like me to stay the night." Edd said brazenly.

"I insist, Double Dweeb." Kevin laughed and kissed Edd.

**A/N: I KNOW my updates have been hella shitty. I'm sorry. :( I'm really gonna try harder. I love you guys. Read, review, love me eternally. **


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